Monday, October 29, 2007

Kittyholic anonymous

Downtown Chick: Hi, my name is Downtown Chick. I'm a Kittyholic.

Other Kittyholics: Hi, Chick.

Downtown Chick: Well, this week has been good. I ate some canned meatball spaghetti, went on a date with Keanu Reeves, saved my half month's pay after paying for my car loan for my black on black tinted Accord EX V6 which still runs like smoke when Grass-eater looks out from his window and sees I'm stalking him, gas for around $200 a month which used to be half (I'm already pumping mostly just Arco and 76) and Mercury full coverage insurance and only bought half a dozen pairs of Hello Kitty panties from Fashion District. They're going for $13 a dozen and I managed to only get half a dozen. They come in bubble gum pink, sharp pink, blue, green and white. I got the light pink, dark pink and white in Downtown. Of course, it's made in China, not by Sanrio...

Um, I'm sorry. How many minutes do I still have...? Pardon...? Oh two and a half...? Okay... I'll share more then: when I was small, my parents never bought me any Hello Kitties so I feel an urge to pamper that inner child of mine that still desires Kitty and wants to be her best friend now. In the end, we were born in the same year (1976 - there was rumor about Kitty being born in 1974 which was untrue; probably her ex-boyfriend - the little teddy bear on the second picture on her souls whom she used to date - spread the rumor after they broke up cuz he's jealous of her continuous charm over three decades while he lost his hair, got a beer belly and married an ugly Japanese dumb ass...) and both of our hobbies include making new friends, traveling and baking cookies.

I admit I am powerless to my addiction to Kitty and leave myself to God. God loves Kitty too. He told me last night when he helped warming up the Whirlpool oven. I mean, God is nice guy. He's really caring, has a good job, takes me out, bakes cookies with me but for some reason, I just couldn't get to "it". I love him. I definitely do. There's no doubt about it. But when I thought of Kitty, and how girly I feel with only Kitty in my bed with only my little girls' panties on, I just wish that's forever. I just wish my pussy will never be territorialized by anybody else until I die. And I just wish I will die as soon as I want.

I have been volunteering in the Downtown Women's Center and working a new job trying to be helpful. I hope when my life has no meaning to myself, it can still offer others some use just like wrecked car parts on Craig's List. Thank you guys.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Downtown Chick's pick for Halloween activity: Mangler's Haunted Asylum

Ahem, did anyone read Folie et déraison... (Madness and Civilization)? As a Foucault's reader in college, I think everyone should get to know about crazy people, and society's oppression, and question who're really "crazy"... :


In 1915 the California Legislature called for a comprehensive study of the problem of "feeble mindedness." As a result of this study, the Legislature recognized the need for an institution in Southern California and approved $250,000 on July 17, 1917, for the Pacific Colony. The original site was in Walnut.

On March 21, 1918, the first patients were admitted to Pacific Colony with an expected capacity of 50 patients. However, it soon became evident that the site was inappropriate (lack of water, limited access) and the facility closed its doors on January 23, 1919 It took another four months until the new Pacific Colony opened at its location in Pomona and welcomed its first 27 "inmates" (as they were then called). In 1920 director Patrick Haggard, deemed a second, more remote location for inmates considered "potentially violent towards themselves or others" was needed. He opened Pomona's California Colony on the current site of the Fairplex in the Winter of 1920. This facility handled the criminally insane and was originally designed as a measure of restraint and isolation from the rest of society.

The facility was originally described as "A place - isolated from the rest of society - almost a self-sufficient small city unto itself. It was a world apart, isolated by more than just its physical location." However the CRIPA (Civil Rights of Institutionalized Persons Act) investigated the asylum in early 1921 and reports were filed with the State of California about inappropriate care, accidents, unexplained deaths of inmates and staff members, and inefficient medication use...

Sunday, October 21, 2007

2001 Domaine Vocoret et Fils Montmains Chablis Premier Cru Burgundy

Okay, stop your jealousy, you know I kick ass. I made katsuo, salmon, uni nigiri-sushi. Why nigiri? Because I forgot to buy the nori! First time making sushi without seaweed...

With this "white pelican" sake, it's really perfect. $7 per half bottle from Mitsuwa, it's really dry and smooth for the uni.

And for the fish, 2001 Domaine Vocoret et Fils Montmains Chablis Premier Cru Burgundy is the bomb. Hands down. Beat my favorite chardonnay Villa Maria like a piece of cake. I'm really not a white wine person to start with so my enjoyment wasn't as intense as my dinner companion's. He looked like he had an orgasm with the Vocoret's.

Dinner companion was reading this book to pair the katsuo and salmon. I picked up the Chablis, turned it and thought maybe the label said it on the back? Then I was told "serious French wine never told what to pair on its back cuz you're supposed to know it". Okaaaaaaaaaaay... FINE! I'm from a third world country; we dance in clothes made of grass in the mountains and celebrate when it rains and kill little piggies to worship the sky when there's running water installed, how's that? Sheesh...

There seemed to be some competition in the kitchen though. We're both given some mushrooms, a half green bell pepper, small organic tomatoes, some eggs to make an omelette. Look, I don't know how to cook but I know how to make an omelette. I've been frying eggs since the age of 8. I'm the Goddess of Omelette. If I know nothing, I know about omelette. And let's face it, Hong Kong style omelette kicks ass! But then I was challenged by the Paris style omelette (1st picture). Dinner companion fried the veggies pretty thoroughly first, then added a ton of mushrooms until they shrank, then fried the eggs at the end. Geez, the mushrooms smelt good; I got a rival. On my side, I liked the veggies more uncooked. I slightly fried the eggs a little hard first, then added the veggies in the middle and tried to flip the whole thing, but then it broke, and I blamed the pan for its being too small. (2nd picture) Come on, if it's mom's big ass round Chinese wok, I'd have won with my sticky semi-soft egg for sure. No one wins over Downtown Chick's breakfast black pepper omelette... In the end, they tasted very differently but were both pretty dang good. So, okay, we agreed next time we're not gonna make 2 omelettes separately. I heard the Parisien could actually live with the H.K. style omelette... What a torture for such sophisticated people huh...?!

Tonight is the first night I just totally love throwing my The Story of O and Marguis de Sade to my dinner companion and telling him it's his own culture that fed me to grow up as the pervert I currently am. Really, I can be whoever I want finally. When I stop struggling with getting anything anymore, I start having everything.

Interviewer: Your life has been chaotic, tormented. Other artists have sacrificed much less for their art. Do you think that if you have followed their examples, your days would have been more peaceful?

Edith Piaf: Oh probably, but that way I don't think I would have offered as much as I did to the public. In my life, I do things with total abandon.

Interviewer: You don't believe in moderation?

Edith Piaf: Oh no, definitely not.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

I saw his hand today

My dear, I saw your right hand today, argh, so close, it floored me. I felt warm, even just to see your beautiful hand. The same hand that used to caress my pussy. The same hand that opened my butt when you climbed back to my face and told me in intense thrill, "wow... shaved! It's sooo beautiful...; it's sooo clean..." Yes, dear... all for you.

I told my shrink that I wanted to move away from Downtown because every dang day I came home, I saw your dang window. It's bright. It's always bright. You're always home. You never go out. I have three jobs. I have a normal job; a less normal job; and a less less normal job. I'm home from work early evening, or mid-evening, or at night, or after midnight, from different gigs. And you're always home. I'm not convinced that you're getting married or even having a normal life. Sorry my love, seriously, your presence disturbs me. I know you're lying to me and to yourself.

So today, I got off early from work. Thank God, the database I wrote totally rocked like no tomorrow! So I called it a day for my boss and started going home and crying over you in the car. I needed to stop and take a break. Then I saw your window again. It's dark. Looked like finally there's nobody home, maybe finally you got a life? But then you suddenly came and close the curtain!

I don't know if you knew I was looking at your window. Maybe you did, maybe you didn't, cuz my car window was perfectly tinted; seriously, I kind of gave up on your feelings, because they just didn't feel like making any sense at all. I admit I'm crazy, but I think you're even crazier. I don't know why I am in love with the 0.00000000000000000001% of men in Los Angeles, or even in the world that choose to stay in the dark, or in the Ikea-modern-style-round-ceiling-light-bright, or of complete insanity to be with someone who does not love you and will never do, or to not love me. Anyway, I don't even know how many men there are in Los Angeles, so I just randomly added some zeroes to this article trying to be dark-humorous, but you know it's basically reduced to only you, because you're nuts.

I pushed my sharp knife into you
Then I turned it
You opened your eyes wide
Are you asking me "why do you do this?"

Well, I don't know
And yeah, I don't want to see you
I have no mercy for you
I don't care if you live or die

You are crazy
You just want to "get me"
You are manipulative
You are controlling

You're the kind of men I will just fuck and never marry
Because you are scary
You try to love me when I'm getting married
You try to get close when I'm in love with someone

Yeah, this's what I did to you in my previous life
So all is coming back to me now

Downtown tool

Wonder why I’ve never seen them for sale anywhere in Downtown. I ebay-ed it. $8 with shipping. Fry’s has it too but it’s only available in black. I like the red…

I’m a proud housewife of myself

I had dirty stoves before. I spilled food on it then I burnt it. Then it’s stuck there forever. Then I could never get it off.

Then I read about this cleaning method on the Internet: put the entire thing into a zip bag of the size of 1 gallon, fill it with ammonia, let it sit for a day. The next day, look.

Monday, October 15, 2007

2004 Domaine Grand Romane Gigondas

Last night, I saw a 2004 bottle of dinner companion's family's wine in that restaurant and asked the bartender how it compared to another 2001 bordeaux red next to it. He told me, that's younger, the other was older...

...Yeah I know, I always look like a porn star. My fault. Apparently, since they are my dinner companion's customer, I'd better keep my mouth shut when it comes to which French place we went...

We had a glass of Domaine Grand Romane Gigondas 2004 and a glass of Glayhouse from Paso Robles; I can't remember if it was 2004 or 03. Something like that. The Rhone wine was medium bodied and bitter. Dinner companion liked it better than I did so we swapped glass. He thought the Californian wine was terrible. I just thought it tasted as sweet as regular coke but it's better than bitter...

I don't like syrah... I actually like Merlot... I think Sideways was so full of shit about the metaphor of Merlot and Pinot Noir... Come on... how easy the grapes grow have nothing to do with how you can enjoy the wine... Merlot is fucking enjoyable... And when the movie came out, the sales of Merlot actually dropped! Welcome to America!

Suddenly, I thought of the way Grass-eater used the word "enjoyable" on me. I wish I had poisoned him when he drank me!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

2001 Chateau Grand Bert Bordeaux Saint Emilion Grand Cru

Picture is 2000. We had the 2001. Let me put it this way, this wine is as good as almost got me in trouble.

All girls know there's a known list we share that consists of items you can't joke around about a guy including height, hair, "size"... But I never knew family's wine!

That night, dinner companion and I decided to stay home, just drink some wine and eat cheese cuz we're not that hungry. The first smell and sip I had from this guy already made me close my eyes, smile, fall like a soft blanket on the couch and say, "Hm... I think I like this one better than your family's wine..." (I was saying that because they are on the same price range.)

Holy loly! I warn anybody that have friends, NEVER, EVER hurt your friend's feeling with a better bottle. It doesn't help the friendship at all...

So dinner companion was looking all shocked when he heard me saying that. He tasted Chateau Grand Bert, and did not say anything, and tasted it again, and did not say anything again... I was already rolling my eyes not knowing what to do. Then, my small but serious winery descendant friend walked to the cellar and said, "let's open a bottle of the same year and compare"!

What?! That was only a random Saturday night, do we really want to spend $80 on wine in Tshirts and sweatpants with no food? Did we get rich?

But when a man has made a decision, you can see it on his face. I knew he's not gonna end the night without making a point... So we put the four glasses on the coffee table, and tasted them the same time. Each had been aired for at least another half hour when he kept telling me about harvesting, flavor and stuff like that, like I knew what he was talking about at all. And then finally, the truth came out. Chateau Grand Bert still won... It had strong, nice aroma, a medium to full body, a long finish, was smooth, rich, complicated, not too dry and just right about everything... I loved it so much... It's just perfect for me. Not that pricey (in the late 20s before shipping), very nice, very easy to drink. It's just perfect for a non-connoisseur.

2003 Clos Du Bois Merlot

Dark merlot of a decent year. But a mediocre young man only grows to a mediocre old guy. Times does not always serve. It's medium-bodied, not smooth, short rough finish. Yeah yeah yeah, it's strong with all that oak spice fruit flavors yada yada yada... But this old guy is too BS-vulgar to begin with making the whole experience another California strip mall one-night-stand. He's pretty horrible. I would trade him for Two Buck Chuck Merlot. They're basically pretty much the same kind of guys.

Bottled: June 2005
Winemaker: Erik Olsen
Varietal Composition: 85% Merlot, 10% Cabernet Franc, 3% Cabernet Sauvignon, 2% Malbec
Alcohol: 13.5%
Acid/pH: 0.59/3.54
Released: November 2005
Appellation: Sonoma County

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

An Open Letter to the Self-claimed Greek Girl in My French Class in Beverly Hills

Look, there is no woman-to-woman talk between you and me. We both are women do not make us share anything in common, thank God!

You said, "Why do they make such mistake? Isn't the author French?" I'm sorry, airhead, your very innovative challenge to the textbook's author's credibility for putting "un professeur" and "une personne" together is of no ground. That was not a mistake. That's just a list of vocabularies about people. They are not counterparts of each other. The female of "un professeur" is "une professeur" and there is no male of "une personne". Get over it, stuck up bitch.

I also want to tell you your black Chanel eyeglass frame with rhinestones on the side looks like from China, and I'm not talking about the official Chanel store in China. I know you're trying to pair it with your black patent leather Birkenstock style sandles with buckles of rhinestones with it but honestly speaking, with an attitude and a brain like yours, nothing looks sophisticated on you. You can just save the bucks. You are fat, boring, dry, uncool, have an ass as wide as a bench in Griffith Park, and you wear that kind of dated bubble gum crayon pink lipstick that can be exhibited in a fashion museum of the 80s in the condition where we are not really having our class on a dance floor of New Order or Duran Duran, but in Beverly Hills.

How did you keep your face as pale as the paint of a dirty white Taurus in Hollywood by the way? Do you do anything constructive to the world at all anyway? Or do you just spend all of your time on your eyelashes, toe nails and French lessons? I'm hoping you don't because if unfortunately you do, you suck in French and should just quit. You cannot make a negative statement; you don't know how to conjugate a verb; you don't know how to use "est ce que" to ask a question; you can't remember personal pronouns, you don't understand how to do our exercises, and after we explain to you, it takes you half an hour to answer each of my questions or ask me a question whenever it's your turn. I could have finished a cup of coffee there while waiting for you already! And what's your name again? Athena?! What kind of a name is that? An American woman like from Arkansas using a Greek goddess's name doesn't make her a goddess. Blegh!

What else? Oh if you didn't, your parents probably voted for Bush, didn't they? And do you by any chance actually know the history and influence of Greece on Western culture from the ancient to roman periods onwards or do you just know Saks Fifth Avenue and outlet malls like any other stupid white women here? To fill you in, the girl sitting next to you that you've been freaking out the entire time was not exactly fresh out from a farm with her pants rolled up picking water crest in a small village in Vietnam or something. We don't really celebrate for having running water instead of pulling buckets up from the wells. We actually study the sculptures and paintings from ancient Greece all the way to Frank Lloyd Wright and Cindy Sherman taught by top Australian, American and British professors in Asia. I'm sick of you these ignorant American people thinking your English is the only correct English. You call that thing a sidewalk doesn't mean the word "pavement" is wrong. Do you know what you call somebody without an accent here only means that person has an American accent which isn't even anything you want others to know in any other cultures at all?!

You have fear for hot, smart Asian girls that do well in school cuz deep in your heart you know so well that those white men that marry you do not really love you and all cheat on you with us, don't you? You know so well that you are the way you are and they are the way they are only because you are white and shallow and so are they, don't you? I bet you'd marry somebody like Grass-eater loser!

Landlord issue

I think my letter to my landlord is worth an entry. I am going to remember this... I hate people messing with psycho bitches. They should just mess with the crazy guys, no?

To Whom It May Concern:

Re: Incomplete Phone Jack Installation & [truncated] Issues / #XXXX

This letter serves as a written complaint about the subject issues.

Issue #1: Incomplete phone jack installation

As of today, I have moved into my new apartment in [where I live] for over a month since [when I moved]. I still do not have a WORKING phone jack installed in my unit. After several attempts to request for installing a phone jack in my unit from [the bully] for over a week at his cell phone number [bully's cell], who self-claimed as the "General Manager" of [where I live], your property management crew installed a phone jack and a cable in my unit last Friday (Sept 28, 2007). However, the phone jack installed was not even wired to anything at all (see picture enclosed). The jack and the cable are simply hanging on the wall without being connected to each other. Therefore, it is definitely NOT a working one per se.

I have called [the bully] immediately after they installed the phone jack but he refused to complete the wiring and got me off the phone.

According to the civil code enclosed, [where I live] is responsible to provide me a WORKING phone jack AND complete all the wiring from 1) my unit to 2) the hall closet where all the tap points are and 3) the main phone box. Please take a look at the law enclosed. Your building is not up to the law's standard.

My telephone company has activated my phone service since [when I moved]. The incompletion of wiring to my unit from your building's hall closet on [my floor] and the main telephone box located on the 2nd floor is the only reason why I am not receiving any phone service. It is the law that [where I live] must meet the most recent National Electrical Code's inside telephone wiring standards in order for me to activate a telephone line. Your non-performance did not only result in expenses on Kinko's and Internet cafes incurred for me to complete my writing works but also my emotional stress over interruption of Internet communications for both work and personal uses.

I am going to place a service call with AT&T to get the job done in a week or two which will cost me about $125. I demand a prompt response from you to discuss how you are going to reimburse me for it. If you fail to offer a comparable compensation for that matter, I will provide a copy of this letter, the picture, as well as any other necessary information to the Los Angeles Consumer Affairs to file a complaint. As a licensee of CA RE Salesperson, I also will not hesitate to provide a courtesy copy to potential buyers that may be of interest to purchase your building when it is in the market as well just to bring some attention on such wiring inadequacy if I come across any of them.

Remarks: To comply with session # 9 of our lease agreement established on [when I rented], I am providing you the notice that the telecommunication provider that will complete the wiring work in place of you in my unit is AT&T, Tel. (877) 722-3755, Add. SAC , CA 95887-0001 for your record.

Issue #2: [truncated]

Thank you for your help. I look forward to your prompt reply.

Yours truly,
The Jacktard [where I live] #XXXX

This letter is sent to addressee by certified mail. A copy of the content of this letter with the phone jack's jpg file for clearer view on a computer is sent to the email address

California Civil Code Section 1941.4
Telephone Jacks & Wiring 1941.4.
The leaser of a building intended for the residential occupation of human beings shall be responsible for installing at least one usable telephone jack and for placing and maintaining the inside telephone wiring in good working order, shall ensure that the inside telephone wiring meets the applicable standards of the most recent National Electrical Code as adopted by the Electronic Industry Association, and shall make any required repairs. The lessor shall not restrict or interfere with access by the telephone utility to its telephone network facilities up to the demarcation point separating the inside wiring. "Inside telephone wiring" for purposes of this section, means that portion of the telephone wire that connects the telephone equipment at the customer's premises to the telephone network at a demarcation point determined by the telephone corporation in accordance with orders of the Public Utilities Commission.

Oh and by the way, the next day after I sent this out, the first thing in the morning, that bully called me up and said he's gonna pay that $125 for me. Ha!

These disgusting Downtown real estate agents are just out of control

Can I get $200 from him if I need to get off early from work today? Cuz this guy’s website advertised on Downtown News is making me throw up now. Excuse me, where’s the toilet?

Wednesday, October 3, 2007