Tuesday, October 9, 2007

An Open Letter to the Self-claimed Greek Girl in My French Class in Beverly Hills

Look, there is no woman-to-woman talk between you and me. We both are women do not make us share anything in common, thank God!

You said, "Why do they make such mistake? Isn't the author French?" I'm sorry, airhead, your very innovative challenge to the textbook's author's credibility for putting "un professeur" and "une personne" together is of no ground. That was not a mistake. That's just a list of vocabularies about people. They are not counterparts of each other. The female of "un professeur" is "une professeur" and there is no male of "une personne". Get over it, stuck up bitch.

I also want to tell you your black Chanel eyeglass frame with rhinestones on the side looks like from China, and I'm not talking about the official Chanel store in China. I know you're trying to pair it with your black patent leather Birkenstock style sandles with buckles of rhinestones with it but honestly speaking, with an attitude and a brain like yours, nothing looks sophisticated on you. You can just save the bucks. You are fat, boring, dry, uncool, have an ass as wide as a bench in Griffith Park, and you wear that kind of dated bubble gum crayon pink lipstick that can be exhibited in a fashion museum of the 80s in the condition where we are not really having our class on a dance floor of New Order or Duran Duran, but in Beverly Hills.

How did you keep your face as pale as the paint of a dirty white Taurus in Hollywood by the way? Do you do anything constructive to the world at all anyway? Or do you just spend all of your time on your eyelashes, toe nails and French lessons? I'm hoping you don't because if unfortunately you do, you suck in French and should just quit. You cannot make a negative statement; you don't know how to conjugate a verb; you don't know how to use "est ce que" to ask a question; you can't remember personal pronouns, you don't understand how to do our exercises, and after we explain to you, it takes you half an hour to answer each of my questions or ask me a question whenever it's your turn. I could have finished a cup of coffee there while waiting for you already! And what's your name again? Athena?! What kind of a name is that? An American woman like from Arkansas using a Greek goddess's name doesn't make her a goddess. Blegh!

What else? Oh if you didn't, your parents probably voted for Bush, didn't they? And do you by any chance actually know the history and influence of Greece on Western culture from the ancient to roman periods onwards or do you just know Saks Fifth Avenue and outlet malls like any other stupid white women here? To fill you in, the girl sitting next to you that you've been freaking out the entire time was not exactly fresh out from a farm with her pants rolled up picking water crest in a small village in Vietnam or something. We don't really celebrate for having running water instead of pulling buckets up from the wells. We actually study the sculptures and paintings from ancient Greece all the way to Frank Lloyd Wright and Cindy Sherman taught by top Australian, American and British professors in Asia. I'm sick of you these ignorant American people thinking your English is the only correct English. You call that thing a sidewalk doesn't mean the word "pavement" is wrong. Do you know what you call somebody without an accent here only means that person has an American accent which isn't even anything you want others to know in any other cultures at all?!

You have fear for hot, smart Asian girls that do well in school cuz deep in your heart you know so well that those white men that marry you do not really love you and all cheat on you with us, don't you? You know so well that you are the way you are and they are the way they are only because you are white and shallow and so are they, don't you? I bet you'd marry somebody like Grass-eater loser!

3 comments:

Bob said...

Hahahahha….I think I’m in love!

G said...

Love this…

Downtown Chick said...

Thank you guys...
:D