Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Hard to be a chick, even harder to be a Downtown Chick

Holy loly! What a day!

Lil bitch has been sick. She has inflammatory bowel disease, is underweight and anemic. She throws up everything she eats. I've done everything to just try to make her eat and keep her alive these days. She's eating human grade rabbit and organic salad. I'm eating Yoplait and $0.99 baby carrots. Her acupuncture costs $65 a session in Pasadena. I don't even want to shell out $22 to cut my hair in some FOB place in San Gabriel Valley. Every night I get off from my 2 jobs I work like a maid rubbing rugs, vacuuming, washing here and there, making her food, washing dishes, washing her, cuddling with her to make sure she gets everything she needs. Finally, after 3 weeks, she gained 1.15 lb.

Then 2 days ago, when I got home around 7PM, I found her crying and limping. She broke her leg! I didn't know how that happened. I went to my building's security to ask if the maintenance guys came in to do the electric work while I was out. They still owed me a power outlet and a new door. I had told them they must give me a 24 hours notice in advance to come in or it's illegal. Yesterday they said no one came. Okay, little biatch hurt herself je ne sais quoi.

I don't know the nearby doggie ER here so I thought worst comes to worst we'll go back to the hospital in South Pasadena in where we lived before. She was trembling very very badly whenever I had to move her or when the security guys came to talk to me. She still growled and barked to try to protect me though even when she's so in pain. Poor girl. I held her to sleep and really couldn't decide if I should take her to the ER around 1:30AM. I decided to try to calm her down and let her rest a little. She was shaking for a long time before she fell asleep. It's absolutely the most tragic thing to hold a small hurt animal crying and moaning in your arm. I just burst into tears. So we got up at 5:30AM. I scooped her food in tiny little pieces and fed her with my hand because she couldn't even stand up by the bowl. Luckily she ate some rabbit meat for breakfast.

I dropped her off at the vet in Pasadena and went to work. The whole day I was chasing the leg vet on the phone to get him to talk to my dog's intestine vet because the leg vet wanted to clean her teeth and the intestine vet wanted to scope her before cleaning her teeth. What a nightmare. Has anybody had this dilemma between the continental scientific vs. the homeopathic, prednisone vs. digestive enzymes, Hill's d/z vs. Nature's Variety, the Pope vs. the Dalai Lama, an engineer guy vs. an artist guy, Ralph's vs. Whole Foods before? No, they're not opposites; you can believe in God even though you are Buddhist but if you're going to Church, believe me, your "brothers and sisters" won't let you go to the puja just like my dog's middle-class Hong Kong internist doesn't let my dog eat anything except her own prescribed food while that unbearably hot grey haired (East) Indian vet said "let the dog eat the organic raw food and mix it with a little Chinese sticky rice and cream cheese". Oh man, poor me the 21st C Downtown Chick torn between two currents! What is more ridiculous than going on a $75 professional consultation conference call with my dysfunctional Hollywood type ex and his holistic nutritionist from Orange County over our conflicting views of our joint-custody dog's diet?!

Didn't my native Hong Kong boat people mom just throw some random leftover on the table and I grew up better than well anyway?! Dude mom didn't even finish high school! I think we made our modern lives more complicated than we needed with some huge college loans I'm still paying. Crazy...!

Indian leg vet did a couple of x-rays on my dog's knee and hip and put her on pain killers and antibiotics. She's jumping around this morning again. Poof. Another easy $300. Sure, why not, I don't even want to think about how much I spent these days anymore. I had to. Little biatch was abused when she's a puppy. That crazy Hong Kong guy bred mini-schnauzers on the roof top of his plastic factory in Tsuen Wan in New Territories! I answered his classified ad on the newspaper thinking he just got a litter in his backyard or something. Nut case! He took 3 puppies from the cables and manufacturing machines for me to see when I got off the cab that night. Little biatch's sister and brother were both bigger and more active than her. She was the smallest trembling at the corner with curly pepper and salt hair. I was planning to get a guy but once I saw her, I couldn't let her go anymore. Paid USD$500. Took her home. Gave her a ridiculous boomer name. She became my dog.

P.S. Even serious culture blogs carry gossip: Does anybody notice Sarko's new girlfriend looks like a pervert Christian clown? Can't those deaf people stop comparing this kind of model singer whatever that would even fuck some ugly asses like Mick Jagger and Donald Trump with my angelic voice Keren Ann just because they both speak French and own an acoustic guitar for heaven's sake? What else do we need to know? Carla Bruni and Keren Ann are not even on the same level. People just so love meaning some dumb ass took an armchair Introduction to Art 101 on the weekend for four weeks or something by saying which celebrity studied art and architecture. That moron stole my French President boyfriend when I was busy running around for my dog dude. Okay, you know I'm so very not over it!


Browne Molyneux said...

I wish I were 100% Nigerian, if I were I would give you real advice, but since I'm only half I'm going to do the weak LA thing.

Say some random emotion:

Oh man...

And then avoid it by talking about your postscript.

Your gossip is high level gossip. Gossip about the French President's actress girlfriend screams class. It screams it in a very call girl, muffled pillow kind of a way.


PS this post was very entertaining for me.

. said...

Your half Nigerian comment reminds me one title: Things Fall Apart... Well put!

Since this's a city of entertainment, it's time for Downtown Chick to find a pimp now seems like.

Browne Molyneux said...

"Things Fall Apart." The story of my life, sort of...

I highly suggest getting a pimp. It helps in the whole being artsy, but not having an actual job thing.

Working makes being fabulous hard.


. said...

But let's do the math..., an actual job deposits money every month to my free WAMU checking account while a pimp always asks for a free blowjob... To be a better gold-digger I have to let go of the being fabulous thing...