Monday, December 17, 2007

How much do the rats in Downtown weigh?

See, you all know Downtown Chick as a size 4 can flick a pile of big Western guys to miles away like Jet Li in Fearless cuz Dad is a Kung Fu master. A piece of cake! But then when it comes to the nasty black guys in Pershing Square, I'm out dude...

I swear to God the first rat I saw tonight on the way to Dorothy Chandler Pavilion for La Boheme was longer than my foot and I wear size 8 shoes. He came out from the bush to the street on Fifth Street, grabbed a plastic bag with 2 legs like a squirrel and quickly went back. The second rat came late, hung out a little bit, got nothing so he went back empty legged. I of course detoured to the opposite street. Neither Kung Fu nor pepper spray helped. Any idea what to do with those bad guys?

This's one of the reasons why I don't walk my dog in Pershing Square that much. I'm afraid the rats will just eat her up. Lil biatch's only 8 lb. The rats, maybe 2 lb? Looked pretty stocky to me.


frank said...

Oh God, every once in a while I see possums scurrying about the yard. They're like giant, ferocious super rats--and they fear nothing!

Browne Molyneux said...

I see rats all of the time in downtown LA. I hate it. It grosses me out. And they are huge. One time I was walking home drunk through skidrow (i guess i was asking for it) and all of these rats ran across my path. I think I almost fainted. I had to call my favorite gypsy cab service to take me up the street, while I made my boyfriend carry me on his back.

Then around Pershing Square, they are everywhere and at night, OH MY GOD!!!!!

You know it's the people who feed pigeons. That's whose fault this rat problem is. They don't get that the food they leave on the ground from feeding pigeons attracts disgusting big fat rats.

I want to smack people I see doing that.

Do you think I would get in trouble if I shot at the rats with a pellet gun. I mean they are rats, its not like they are endangered or anything.


. said...

My building's people actually throw rice off their windows to the street, not kidding.

But Browne, what if their rat blood and meat just flash all over you when you fire? That's even worse...!

Browne Molyneux said...

"My building's people actually throw rice off their windows to the street, not kidding." Downtown Chick

To feed the pigeons?!!! No freakin way...they are rats with wings, they carry mites and bugs and all of the things that rats carry, but they fly!!!!

I was at Grand Central market trying to eat and those pigeons, they are everywhere. I was so disgusted I just left. I can't eat outside anymore. Why do people like eating outside?

Fat rat flesh, on my fluevogs? I think I'm going to faint.


. said...

Yeah to feed the pigeon. There's a group there inbetween cars just to catch the rice and crap.

I like eating outside of Banquette and Pete's cuz at least, it's safe from rats and pigeons.

Don't shoot the rats. All I'm sayin'. Honestly my legs're soft from feet away when I see them. I dare not even walk close to the block. People told me they walk over people's feet, not kidding.

Browne Molyneux said...

Ok Downtown Chick the rats in downtown are safe from Browne aka the Catwoman for now, at least until 2008...

But you need to talk to your neighbors and tell them that their habits of feeding the pigeons are going to bring a serious rat problem if it gets unusually cold or starts raining for extended periods of time.

Due to this post I had a nightmares of rats crawling on my wood floors, but when I got up to check it was just the rain on my fire escape.


. said...

I don't know which unit(s) throw those rice out. I just once in a while get that "rice sprinkle" on my head when I get home from walking my dog... They're dry raw rice, not cooked... Apparently neighbors don't realize the hidden rat crisis...

Now when I think about it the pigeons here are lucky. If they're in China, people'll catch them and barbeque them.

Anonymous said...

They make great pets. Very affectionate!

. said...

Um, Cowboy, you mean my neighbors, the pigeons or the rats make great pets? You think I can sleep with them at night?