Friday, March 20, 2009

Who would deliver at four o'clock in the morning if you don't have a masochist girlfriend?

Well, chances are, most of you are not into perverted dominance. So what do you do when you are starving at four o'clock in the morning do not want to go out? Nobody is going to pick up your stupid phone call and bring you a box of hot rice, you know that. So the answer is: T.G. Express.

Do I remember the first time I went to Ko Samui and tasted the most amazing fresh Thai fried rice with fresh meat and vegetables when I was still naive and young? Well, no, not really, heh! What do you expect? That was like past life. But do I still remember the amazing Thai restaurant right next to the Malaysian restaurant opposite to Club 64 in Lan Kwai Fong in Central, Hong Kong, before the Communists took Hong Kong back? Hell yeah! And that Chinese guy behind his heavy prescription eyeglasses made fucking amazing Thai fried rice too! Oh my God! That's like when you lose your virginity! You can never forget that! That simple beef with herbs, especially that kind of Thai-specific little bamboo. Jeez, gave me an orgasm! So what Thai food do we have over here?

Before I moved to DT, I lived in Alhambra for years. One of the weekly practice I religiously retained in Alhambra was to go to U2 Cafe on Valley for their Thai seafood soup noodles (which later on was known as "Sika Cafe" for a short period of time). That's just one of the things that kept me moving with no meaningful relationship, no goal and no future in a small Chinese town. I just felt at home when I tasted that perfectly prepared healthy, low-fat spicy noodles with lots of goodies like big shrimp, fish, scallops, pineapples and tomatoes. I was just hanging in there in Alhambra (15 minutes driving time from DT if no traffic). I had nowhere to go to psychologically. That's what spice is for.

Then here it comes with the closing down. None of the Hong Kong style cafes survived except Garden and Regent it seems like. They keep changing hands. My favorite Thai noodles from that non-Thai place actually went away too. That ignited no desire for me to travel back to "China" from Downtown anymore. I stayed with Ralph's for grocery most of the time. Except for friends and work, I do not go back to the Far East again.

Maybe I had bad taste for Thai food, or maybe they cooked really well, I was really impressed with the later-than-Letterman late night delivery for $7.20. Come on, what do you think you can do with $7.20 with tax included these days? That's dirt cheap. A chicken fried rice is enough for me to take care of 3 meals already. No, seriouly, it's giant. It's like they fill the entire foam take-out box completely with fried rice. I was eating light canned soup for $2 or $3 a meal and figured maybe it's actually not a bad deal to have somebody cook for and deliver to me for almost the same amount of money. The only complaint I have is it's for Americans. It's not spicy enough. But overall, I'm very pleased. My neighbor is so cool to know and tell me about it. TG is such a hidden gem. Life saver when I'm not up for making dinner plans these days.

Le Vin de la recesión (The Recession wine)

I haven't talked about wine for a long time, and I'm going to return to the topic: it's fucking great your boyfriend knows nothing about it. Bleh!

No, I'm serious. What's better than you can drink as much as you want without worrying taking the trash out, moving the dog's bed back to our bed and turning off everything before bed because he does not drink? Hm? What about drink outside? Well, I don't drink outside. Joe and I are weird people. We don't have friends. No, okay, I lied. I know how to spend money. But come on, this is 2009. It is not 2004. We are talking about the recession here! Nobody knows what's gonna happen next. How do you think I can still pull out that hundred dollar bill out of my old Vuitton limited edition wallet from a couple years ago again like nothing happened? So, let me have a glass at home.

Have you known young, genuine and practical people that do not pretend they know everything, are the best in the world and actually do the job just right? Yeah, it's nice to have more of them in the world, isn't it? Boire et Manger is kind of like that. It is cheap ($3 in Big Lot when on sale); it does the job; it does not pretend it is the old French wine. Although I have no idea where the place of its original production, Pays d'Oc, is, if I have tasted all those great wines ranging from the reputable grands crus from Saint-Émilion to the nice pinot noir from Paso Robles, and am still happy with Boire et Manger and a 7/11 hot dog tonight, then chances are, I am a content woman that knows what she wants.

Every time I drink or taste something, it always reminds me of the pain of having that super picky, controlling, judgmental, old-skool French winemaker *ex*-"dinner-companion" for that damn half a year with no freedom at all. Mon Dieu (My God)! Do you really think Boire et Manger is as easy and cheap as Drew Barrymore? Let me tell you, it's cheap for it's quality! It doesn't cut my throat like Trader Joe's 2-Buck-Chuck does. It doesn't jeopardize my plan to continue my education in French or to pay all my bills. It doesn't carry any appellation like I have to learn where the heck all these wine regions are, what years are good, what years are bad, what grapes they grow, if the aroma stays in my crazy nose or irritates my crazy throat. Guess what? See the little piglet there? It actually even tells me exactly what to pair with. That's right. Pork, fish, lamb, whatever. It's right on the bottle itself. Can't be simpler than that. It's light-bodied, smooth and easy-come-easy-go. It allows me to not have to force myself to succumb to the cheap Californian cabinet sauvignon on sale in Ralph's that are just worse than ketchup mixed with acetone. So it is what I want for tonight. I ran around these days. I have a lot on my plate. I am tired. I had nightmares about work and shit. All I want right now are my down-to-earth American boyfriend and an unpretentious French wine like Boire et Manger.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Our unfuckable all-about-me Chief

I got a promotion! Yay!

Um, no, okay, this is a really badly written humor blog that you are reading, because apparently, I'm just tryin' to find something to write about out of my ass. Of course, the truth is, I was laid off, along with thousands of Americans, at the end of 2008, as you all know.

So, what have I been doin'? Well, you think you can try to catch me right? Yeah right, you successful stalkers, the truth is, I ain't tellin' you! But what I can say is, along with my faith (yes, crazy women believe in something too, just not like yours, you jerks!), I thought it was actually life's decision to put me in another industry which if I didn't get a kick of it, I would never really take any action for - namely, the non-profit crap.

What's weird about non-profit is, unlike what you usually associate to the picture of a bunch of passionate, transcendent, awakened people like the cashiers in Trader Joe's dressed in vintage T-shirts and jeans, the concept of "non-profit" itself isn't even related to "profit" at all! Yes! Why would I say that? Well, because although by law it is not about business profit, it is in itself all about everybody's personal profit. It's something a little similar to what you know about our 2nd-term mayor, Villaraigosa. Have you all read his schedule obtained by LA Weekly? No? Okay, it's right here. It's a PDF file. Click and read it. This fucking loser does not hold any regular meetings with his department directors. He does not do shit. 11% of his time is dedicated to the City of Los Angeles, and the rest for himself, a wannabe successful politician. Am I surprised? No, because I have one right where I work at these several months too. Ironic, isn't it? You claim you want to serve the people does not mean you are really there to. It's all just bullshit about non-profit.

I have no idea why playing politics is so appealing to some people, but apparently, lots of wannabe politicians strive for that. Ever heard of some complete losers with no idea what they are doing and spends 99% of their time on "networking"? Bingo! What is "networking"? Let's cut to the chase, it means excuses to avoid actually working. Let me tell you, the difference between "networking" and "meeting" is that, "networking" means unlikely result, and "meeting" means possible result. Let me give you an example, do you really want to go through the lists of guys I met through "networking" that just wanted to get in my pants and nothing more? Aw, good! You got it! "Networking" is complete nonsense if you know anybody that would even bother to put it on his work schedule. If it is a woman, hm, yeah, okay, if she's actually hot, maybe she is really doing her job. If it's a man, especially a man who is unfuckable, I'm sorry, but he is a fraud, honey.