How old is too old to wear hot shorts? Grad school, hot shorts, platform sandals, short hair... I'm having a mid-life crisis.
The original plan for me to go to grad school is that now Average Joe has kept his job fine to pay bills. Because unlike I, he is crazy. His genes are not suitable for procreational purpose. As a result, I would be having a job I hated all my life if I had kept working. I would be having too much free time in my hand if I had quit. The solution? Having me fulfill my dream of reading hundreds of books a year, researching and being smarty pants in school.
The problem is now that things get so very hard in grad school. Well, not all grad school. I'm not talking about an MBA or a law degree which almost any human-being with reasonable ability to process information can do fine. I'm talking about other intellectual subjects. I'm in an exhausted field in terms of admission and job opportunities. You just do not get in and get a job unless you are one of the most competitive people in the country. I did not choose this field. I just don't know how to do other majors. This is the only field I have known how to do and done well since high school. It's so hard. It's as hard as I feel like I'm going crazy almost everyday when dealing with the materials surrounding me.
Nobody outside of work understands what the fuck I'm talking about anymore. Not my boyfriend. Not my shrink. I am abandoned.
I just want to watch a cheesy melodrama and cry because I cannot self-induce a good meltdown right now. This is like constipation, but not with shit.