Friday, September 14, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
If you love the movie The Way We Were, you should join me to hate at least the character Carrie Bradshaw, if not also Sex and the City, the screenwriter and HBO. The often discussed reference of The Way We Were in Sex and the City happens when Carrie thinks her dream guy Mr Big dumps her and marries a stupid fashion model because she is a complicated woman, just like Hubbell dumps Katie and marries an airhead in The Way We Were. This really pisses me off because this is the biggest bourgeois joke one can possibly make of a socially considered unattractive Marxist Jewish woman waiting table and working in a radio station for different causes she believes in.
Seriously, are you kidding me? This 1990s shallow, gold-digging Jewish-American princess Carrie who buys $400-a-pair-of shoes has the nerve to compare herself with Katie, a 1940s idealistic Jewish communist activist when a jock dumps her?! This gotta be a joke. It is the biggest insult against all grassroot minority female intellectuals who sacrifice a comfortable lifestyle for their beliefs, including your favorite blogger Downtown Chick. When these airheaded city sluts are sipping their $20 cosmopolitan cocktail and having $70 dinner in New York, idealizing their hardship with men as ours, do they have the slightest thought how we get by with $90 for all groceries a month? That's their one night's expense, before tips. If you can't be poor, just don't claim our poor women's romance hardship, because you can never feel as bad with lack of both money and men if you have money, bitch.
Monday, September 3, 2012
- They have to watch a movie in a theater exactly from the start to the end. In fact, they arrive the theater half an hour before the movie starts—with me. If we are not early enough, they freak out. In the past, I just also freaked out when my guy freaked out. Now, after four years of dating him, I just take Lexapro and feel fine.
- They know the difference between an em dash and an en dash. Very helpful.
- They despise and ridicule intellectuals, such as a professor who teaches a course called "TV, Media and Culture" in UCLA, even if sometimes, they happen to be one of them.
- They ignore what I say in a conversation and respond by talking about a completely irrelevant yet an obsessed topic of their own, such as a strange sound or smell in the bedroom that does not really exist in reality but only in their imagination.
- They wear eyeglasses.
- They have slightly off family members. "Slightly off," here, is my very nice way to put it.
- They don't like trying unfamiliar foods. When you force them to, they ask what the food is made of, where the ingredients are brought from, how long the ingredients have sat on the kitchen counter after being taken out from the freezer, what cleanliness grade the restaurant gets, etc. This is why Antacid is your friend when you dine with them.
- They are so talented and funny-as-hell that they make me want to go to bed with them. This is usually the only way they can trick attractive women to go out with them at the beginning of a relationship, unless they are also one of the ridiculously rich Jews.
- They have serious hypochondria.
- They check on and question any unusual minor everyday objects you own, such as an African black facial soap, a syringe (with no needle) or a pack of antique Japanese cigarettes (for decoration) in your bathroom.
- They bring a thermometer with them everywhere and take their temperature all the time. When they think they are sick, this habit gets accelerated to every five minutes. Their favorite electronic gadgets are thermometers, alarm timepieces and well designed umbrellas.
- They enjoy helping small, weak and poor things, like an orphan from Cambodia, a sick old dog or something. Certainly, they are not evil. However, they can be pricks or completely insensitive to others' feelings sometimes. That is not their true nature but more of their fucked-up upbringing. You can't do anything about this. Unfortunately, it is an accident of human emotional development during the modern age of catastrophe and trauma.
- They conform to the traditional gender role model and enjoy a relationship the most when the woman is inferior to them. If you are a hot, strong and independent girlfriend, dumb it down a little bit from time to time. They don't see women of the same or more intelligence as their ideal mates. Close the lid of a jar of spaghetti sauce as tightly as you can, then helplessly beg him to open it for you. Ask him how much interest you pay if you have a 3% APR auto loan and pay $475 a month. Nevertheless, make sure you do the latter only if your boyfriend can count. If he happens to fail in math, do the former.
- People either love them as genii or hate them as freaks or scumbags. There are seldom "neutral" situations.